When I realized this column would be published Dec. 25, I freaked. What other than a sweet silence or a seasonal singsong would do? And neither of these makes good political copy. Those who don’t celebrate Christmas still enjoy the peace and quiet, a day free from work, from shopping and from the news. Even Druids, who I figure must spend some of the day dancing in the snowy sun, wouldn’t be well served by more of my musings about Steve and the boys.
Thankfully, I was saved from this state of disquiet when I discovered, walking on the early evening dykes, a piece of paper that twinkled in the light of the December moon. (In case you think otherwise, this is much better than mooning in the twinkling December light). “When what to my troubled eyes did appear, but a list hoofed over by eight lost reindeer.” You know it; it was Santa’s list, checked twice.
Like you, I’ve often wondered what those in the public glare got from Santa, so in the interest of all of us I’ve copied the list below. I have to admit I didn’t realize that Santa was quite that cranky with the political class, but living that far up in the north gives you an interesting and frankly perceptive perspective.
It must be all that coal-heated melting that has him sending out so many chunks of coal this year, but there are some presents of respect as well: Steve: Brian’s next volume of personally autographed memoirs, I Did It His Way, (at least Brian was prepared to swear the copy was signed by himself, depending on what you mean by “signed”) with an empty brown paper envelope attached. Brian: The new book, 12 Steps to Keeping Your Family Out Of Your Mess.